Klordny: Devoted to the Legion of Super-Heroes

Friday, December 19, 2003

Why, oh why might you want to join the Klordny Yahoo! group, you ask?

Greetings, gentlefolk!

If you're anything like yrs. truly, you might be asking yourself, "Why would I want to join a Yahoo! group (or heavens forfend, the actual APA itself!) devoted to an amateur press publication devoted to the Legion of Super-Heroes?" Oh, but I am glad you (or in my case, me) asked. Yes, I am.

Why am I glad you (or, I) asked? Well, because I've been thinking. And I've been thinking, "Oh, wise Methusula, (because that is what I call myself when I am talking to myself-wise Methusula) anyone with the temerity and, yes, I'll say it, intestinal fortitude to ask themselves 'Why would I want to join a Yahoo! group devoted to an amateur press publication devoted to the Legion of Super-Heroes?' is the kind of sass and panache and ongoing conversation that we NEED in Klordny."

I know, I know. I know what you're thinking right about now-"Wise Methusula," your thinking, "More like freak-@$$ crazy Methusula, more like. What in the name of the Super Moby Dick of Space is Klordny?" Well ... buck up, soldier! Wise Methusula is here to answer your very question and put your weary mind at ease.

Klordny is what we like to call an APA, or "Amateur Press Association," in this case devoted to the adventures of the Legion of Super-Heroes, in all their incarnations. Let me quote one of our members in describing Klordny in a little more detail: "Published bi-monthly and devoted to comic books in general and the Legion of Super-Heroes (LSH) in particular, Klordny is a publication put together by a collection of friends and fellow enthusiasts. We put together a 'mailing' of Klordny every two months by having each member contribute enough copies of his or her contribution so that all members will get a copy. Each member sends his collated contribution (or "zine" [short for magazine]) to the Central mailer (CM), who collates all the zines into a single stapled mailing and sends the mailings out to the membership."

It's kind of an antiquated notion. In an APA, you don't get the immediate feedback of the DCU message boards, or the Yahoo! LSH-List group, for instance. But there's something -- special, less ephemeral about words on paper. There's something about receiving your copy of Klordny in the mail every other month. Kind of like Christmas. Or your birthday, if people aged as quickly as dogs do. An APA is different than online communication, somehow. But don't let old Methusula wax all nostalgic now ...

We're not the only APA devoted to the LSH. Interlac was founded, oh, a long time ago, It's the original Legion APA, credited with helping the LSH get back into the (back) pages of Superboy, after they had been booted from the pages of Adventure and Action Comics. Interlac is what you might call the grand old man of Legion APAs. Then there's APA-LSH. APA-LSH was founded by Tom and Mary Bierbaum back when they were writing the book-when was that? Back in the early 1990s, '92, something like that. Understandably then, their more into the latter-era Legions. APA-247 is a Britain-based Legion APA.

And Klordny? Klordny was a'born back in the early 1980s. And, yes, our title is the ultimate bit of Legion trivia-Klordny is the name of one of those futuristic festivals depicted in an issue of Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes, written by Gerry Conway. Not that we're Conwaymaniacs in Klordny (the APA, not the festival). Oh no. Not us. But we do like to think, of all the APAs devoted to the Legion of Super-Heroes out there, we have the most fun. We let our hair down the most. And we're not afraid to talk about Keith Giffen in our APA. Nosireer bob. We've got our Giffen-lovers, our Giffen-haters, and our Giffen-indifferenturers. It makes for interesting conversation.

In the pages of Klordny, you'll find original fan-fiction. You'll find fanciful flights of imagination envisioning various alternate world Legions or "What would the Legion be like if The Five-Year Gap/Zero Hour/Gerry Conway had happened?" You'll find theorizings on Legion members' homeworlds.

You'll find people asking the age-old question, "Mano, what is up with your head?" You'll find detailed histories of Hate-Face and other denizens of Shanghalla. You'll find fans of Chief Parker and The Weirdo Legionnaire, of the Legion of Super-Pets and the Legion of Substitute Heroes. And the Legion of Super-Villians, natch. You'll find people who have developed whole elaborate mythologies based on the secret history of Calamity King and the belief that King Juan Carlos of Spain is the antichrist. Well, not so much the latter, but ... And you'll find people commenting on each other's thoughts about all of the above. Basically, if you can have a fan-boy or -girl/geek/obsessive conversation about it, or even imagine having a fan- boy or -girl /geek/obsessive conversation about it, we'd love to mix it up with you.

Some of the personalities you'll encounter in our pages:

We've got one member (let's call him "Member 1") who likes the Dawnstar. And American History. And Star Wars. His manner of dress, like his politics, conservative. Probably our most politically astute member, his comments have prompted many a political discussion in our pages, whether that discussion concern the competence of certain Civil War generals, the fascist undertones of both Star Trek and the 31st Century DC universes, or the fact that ole wise Methusula perhaps ain't so wise as everyone thinks he is. Perhaps Member 1's main claim to fame is that he works alongside T. Casey Brennan, onetime Vampirella scripter.

Let's call our next member, Member 2: Have you ever wondered, "What would it be like if Jason from the Friday the 13th movies ever met up with Mysa Nal in some weird, twisted love story?" Well, too bad, because Member 2 has written that story already. And it rocked. He is the number one fan of the White Witch. And a font of horror movie knowledge.

Oh, why not? How about Member 3? Member 3 is a scientist. And a folk-singer. And you've never heard someone explain 31st Century science until you've heard a folk-singing scientist explain it to you. Seriously. Take my word on this.

Let's break with tradition and call our next member, Member 4: I have no real idea who his favorite Legionnaire is, to tell you the truth. But I can tell you this: Member 4 has every episode of Thundarr the Barbarian on tape, he digs the surf rock and he's a fan of Roger Stern, comics writer.

You guessed it, Member 5: She provides a little sass and a little bit of worldly traveled saviness to our little APA. Plus I think she is our newest member.

Dagnabit, here's Member 6: If you've got a Legion poster that needs characters identified, Member 6 is your man. If you need to talk to the person that has been a member of Klordny throughout its entire history, Member 6 is your man. If you need a fake passport quickly, no questions asked -- well, I've said too much already ...

As you can see, we're a varied bunch. But we don't bite. Very often.

And if you check out Klordny, I can promise you this. All the members listed above? They all have real, honest-to-goodness names. NOT just numbers. (I gave them numbers to protect their privacy in this public place. I'm silly that way. Not silly enough to protect the privacy of the following member of Klordny, because he's our central member. That would be just too silly.)

What do you think? Interested in giving Klordny a shot? Write or e-mail our current Central Mailer, Carl Fishman, at fishcave@worldnet.att.net or e-mail me at: Klordny@hotmail.com and I'll make sure Carl gets you a copy. Or at least more information on what we're all about. Let me know if I can get you any more information about Klordny or if I can answer any questions you might have about us. Just shoot me an e-mail. I'll get right back to you. Promise.

Would wise old Methusula lie to ya? Of course not.

Sincerely,

Your friend,

Klordny2020

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The Klordny Constitution

KLORDNY is an Amateur Press Alliance (APA), published bi-monthly and devoted to comic books in general and the Legion of Super-Heroes (LSH) in particular.

MEMBERSHIP is limited to twenty-five (25) people and is open to anyone with an interest in the LSH.

MINAC (minimum activity) is two (2) pages every two (2) mailings. Only pages relating to the LSH, comics in general, and Klordny mailings (ie. mailing comments) shall count toward minac. The Central Mailer (CM) shall be the final judge of this rule. Other contributed pages will be published but will not count toward minac.

COVERS shall be solicited from the whole of the Klordny members and waitlist members by the Central Mailer.

Prospective cover artists can bid for the right to do a cover in the coming year by submitting a request after September First of the current year to the Central Mailer. The Central Mailer shall compile a list of the cover artists from such requests on a first-come-first-served basis.
Section covers are left to the Central Mailer's discretion.
Should a cover responsibility be neglected by a listed artist, the responsibility shall be shifted to the Central Mailer to be dealt with as the Central Mailer sees fit.
Neglect of cover responsibilities shall empower the Central Mailer to exclude the offending individual from subsequent cover assignments if the Central Mailer deems this necessary.
An individual may only do one cover per year (officially).

EXPENSES of the APA are to be evenly distributed among the membership. All members must maintain a positive account with the APA. Accounts of departing members are forfeited to the APA.

ANYONE interested in membership may join the waitlist for five dollars ($5.00 US). New waitlist members will receive the latest available issue and thereafter the Bulletin, consisting of (1) Table of Contents, (2) President's Message, and (3) Central Mailer's Message. Waitlist members must respond to each bulletin or mailing they receive. Failure to respond twice in succession shall result in being dropped from the waitlist. Waitlist members are encouraged to contribute and are given first opportunity to purchase any available copies of the mailing in which their contribution appears. Contributing a zine counts as a response.

If the total membership in Klordny is less than 25, waitlist requirements will be suspended. Anyone in good standing, but not meeting Minac, will still be treated as a member, and will share the expenses of the APA. When the membership is over 25, waitlist requirements will go back into effect, and anyone not meeting Minac will be relegated to the waitlist.

ISSUES may be purchased for four dollars ($4.00 US) plus postage, subject to availability.

ELECTED OFFICES shall consist of (1) President, and (2) Central Mailer, elected to one-year terms.

DUTIES OF THE PRESIDENT: The President shall:

Contribute a President's Message each issue;
Publicize the APA and recruit new members;
Resolve disputes and be responsible for general morale;
Appoint a Central Mailer if he, she or they cannot fulfill the duties of office because of death, resignation or other reasons. Members in such case will first be asked to volunteer.

DUTIES OF THE CENTRAL MAILER: The Central Mailer shall:

Set a copy count not to exceed 40;
Set deadlines for contributions;
Keep track of minacs;
Handle all APA expenses;
Contribute a Central Mailer's Message to each issue, including membership roster, waitlist roster and a complete statement of Klordny finances;
Be responsible for collation and distribution of the APA;
Be responsible for the Bulletin and other matters pertaining to the waitlist;
Assume the duties of President in case of removal, death or inability to fulfill the duties of office.

BALLOTS for elected offices will be sent in the September issue. Candidates for office should announce prior to then. Officers will be elected by majority vote and will assume the office with the January issue.

PROPOSED AMENDMENTS to the Constitution must be submitted in writing to the President, who will print the proposal in his next President's Message. A four-month debating period will follow, after which the proposal will be brought to a vote of the full membership. A majority of the voting membership is required to approve the proposed amendment.

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A Brief History of Klordny, the APA

The Amateur Press Alliance known as Klordny began in early 1980 when Brad Horning had a letter published in issue #265 of the Legion of Super-Heroes. After his letter the editor, Jack C. Harris, mentioned that Brad was forming a Legion of Super-Heroes Fan Club and that if anyone was interested they should write to him. Brad received over 100 responses to that request. He sent out letters asking those who replied for their ideas on what the club should do. The biggest response was for a fanzine. Dues were to be sent in, and a fanzine called "Klordny" was to be started. Brad had asked for suggestions as to the name of the fanzine, but it was Brad himself who found an obscure reference to Klordny and decided to adopt it as the club's official name. Klordny is named after a 30th century festival first shown in LSH #232.

Unfortunately, very few people sent Brad their dues, and because the number was so low the fanzine was not financially sound. Brad refunded the dues that were sent in and the club was disbanded. It was all over by July. In August, Brad sent each of the final respondents a list of the others' names and addresses.

Klordny's first rebirth was about to begin. Member Ira Kalina wrote letters trying to get things started again, but it wasn't until Cindy Gann wrote Brad suggesting that Klordny be revived as an APA instead that things got rolling. In late October 1980, Klordny was reborn. The first 25 respondents to Brad's letter announcing the restart would become members and the rest would be waitlist members. The first issue was to be out by January 1981.

Klordny was a weird hybrid. Although billed as an APA, it still retained aspects of a fan club. Members paid dues ($2 an issue), there were four officers, and it had a five-page constitution. The Constitution also contained our infamous 'rule' which cause derision is the APA world. That was the rule where a member could be dropped if they "consistently wrote about themselves or about non-Legion-related material."

Klordny got off to a rapid start with Cindy Gann as our first Central Mailer and Brad as our first President and has survived the troubles of the years . . . but not without some work and dedication. Its first crisis occurred into its third year. Both Brad and Cindy had departed the APA to pursue other interests leaving Klordny in the hands of Rex Joyner, who assumed the office of President, and a new Central Mailer; all other offices by this time had vanished. But with this new Central Mailer came new problems--problems of missed deadlines and absent dues, a situation which culminated with the disappearance of the Central Mailer all together. Not even Rex knew what had happened. There was no response at all from the CM. It wasn't until Rex contacted member Arthur Lewandowski to find out if Arthur would go along with him by taking over the APA and and seeing if they could save Klordny that things started to get straightened out.

Arthur agreed to become Central Mailer, but first had to find out if the membership was interested in continuing. Letters were sent out, and when half of the members and waitlist members said they were still interested, Rex and Arthur decided to continue. Instead of starting anew, however, they felt it best to resume the numbering with the absent Klordny #15. The new deadline was January 1, 1984. It was also at this time that they decided to streamline the bulky constitution and change the dues system to an accounts system. Rex was to build up the membership by writing to those who got their letters published in the Legion book. He was successful and the groundwork for a new Klordny was set. Membership grew, and the size of the mailings did likewise. Things were looking rosy. Rex and Arthur continued for three years in their crucial positions as President and Central mailer. Arthur would have probably CMed forever if it weren't for the fact that he was feeling that Klordny was becoming his APA.

Klordny saw its next great surge of membership almost three years later with the election of Bob Dobiesz and Jim Kelly as its Central Mailer and President, respectively. Bob and Jim seemed to take over Klordny during a transitional period in its history. Up until 1987 the membership had remained fairly constant and things were getting predictable. By the end of '87 and into '88 there was a large turnover in membership as many old-timers left and new blood arrived. That certainly enlivened the APA and seemed to bring in renewed intrerest, especially in Legion-related talk, but there was still a drop-off in issue size and member participation. It still seemed to be as if changes were in the air as yet another clump of long-time members left.

Before there was even a chance to worry, Klordny was deluged with new waitlist members as simultaneously Bob and Jim went on a membership drive and the new Legion book printed a blurb for Klordny in issue #8. Once again the membership began to swell, and the waitlist membership soon grew so large that it was almost a two-year wait before a spot opened up. Fiction, art, and Legion-talk abounded. And the history of Klordny continued to repeat itself.

In March, 1998, Klordny saw the publication of its 100th issue, a milestone for any APA. We are always interested in new and returning blood. An influx of new blood this past year, along with contributions from our stalwart members, keeps discussion lively and interesting and filled with some of the best fiction and art in Legion fandom today. With members all across Canada and the United States, and some overseas, we continue to be a diverse and friendly crowd. Whether we are teachers or writers or short-order cooks or students, we all share one common interest, the Legion of Super-Heroes. If you share this interest, why not give us a try. We may not be the only Legion-related APA around, but we think of ourselves as one of the best. Whenever the need arises, be certain that we will be there, supporting the Legion's creative team and letting them know when we think they've erred. Legion fandom is one of the funnest places to be, and we take pride in being one of its homes.

If you're a fan of the Adventure-era Legion, Klordny is the place for you to be. If you're a fan of the 1970s bikinis and disco Legion, Klordny is the place for you to be. If you're a fan of the Keith Giffen-Tom & Mary Bierbaum Legion, Klordny is the place for you to be. If it's the current era that best suits your fannish whims, Klordny is the place for you to be. If you hate all of those things, and all you want to do is whinge and whine about Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl ... you've got it, Klordny is the place for you to be. You call Dawnstar your favorite character? Well, so do certain members of Klordny. You've got a fondness for the White Witch? Well, so do certain members of Klordny. Ultra Boy, Karate Kid, Ferro Lad, Shrinking Violet, Polar Boy, Hate Face, The Weirdo Legionnaire, Calamity King, Infectious Lass - we love 'em all!! And the Legion villains - Nardo, the Super Moby Dick of Space, Mordru, The Fatal Five or The Blight - we love to hate them!!! And if you like to sprinkle discussions of Civil War history, bikini car washes, monkeys, pirates, private detectives and shenanigans in with your Legion-related discourse - who are we to say ye nay?

We're not going to say ye nay.

Nosiree.

We're Klordny. We don't operate like that.

Check us out. You'll be glad you did.

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